Stalking Shinomori
by death muffin
Summary: Misao has a new hobby! Good God, Aoshi's gonna need a restraining order. And therapy. Lots, and lots of therapy.
1. Libraries are for LOOOSERZ

{A/N: Yeah yeah, it's not like I don't got enough to do, but I got bored and started yet another story. - - As if two weren't enough.

This has prolly, more than likely, been done about a hundred different times in a hundred different ways. (And they're all prolly better written than mine.) But I can pretty much guarantee you there's nothing out there quite like this. I've got my own special brand of insanity. smiles proudly

This one's based roughly off of my own real life experiences. (NO! Of course I've never stalked anyone! What is this 'stalking' you speak of? whistles innocently) And before you ask what I'm on… sings à la Pennyroyal Tea "I'm on Vanilla Coke and Benadryl. Fudge covered minty Oreos…"}

**THE DISCLAIMER** (To keep all you lawyer-types off my ass): I don't own. You don't sue. Capisce?

Stalking Shinomori

_By The Muffin of DEATH_

Chapter 1:

Libraries are for LOOSERZ!

The college's library was boringly silent, as all libraries are. A silent sanctuary for those who want to study, or for the slackers who just want a quiet place to take a nap.

"NOOO! NO! GODDAMN YOU, NO!" A voice shouted out, shattering the sacred library silentness.

Every pair of eyes in the library glared angrily at the small woman who was violently banging her computer's mouse against the desk.

"FUCK YOU, YOU PIECE OF SHIT!" she continued her outburst, oblivious to the angry people glaring at her.

The librarian swiftly, and with the un-natural silence all librarians possess, crept up behind the offending patronage.

"Please stop abusing the mouse." She said softly and sternly in that annoyingly authoritarian tone of voice librarians always use.

"ACK!" the girl shrieked, spinning around in her chair to face the librarian. "You scared the shit out of me!" she yelled at the elderly women.

"Keep your voice down miss. One more outburst from you, and I'll have to ask you to leave." the librarian said seriously before she crept silently back up to her huge desk to sit and glare condescendingly at the girl.

"Damn library Nazi." the girl hissed to her friend, who was hiding embarrassedly behind a note book.

"Misao, what the hell have you been doing?" Kaoru demanded to know, staring over her shoulder as Misao fumbled around the screen, trying to cover her game with the Yahoo! homepage. Too late. _"Minesweeper?!"_ she whispered angrily. "_I_ come here to help you do _your_ research paper, and you're playing _MINESWEEPER?!?_"

"God Kaoru, you're just as bad as that library Nazi." Misao muttered rolling her eyes.

"Excuse me? I gave up my lunch hour to help your ass out, and you're playing fucking Minesweeper!"

"Yes, I think we've established the fact that I was playing Minesweeper, Captain Observant." Misao interrupted sarcastically.

Kaoru rolled her eyes and thrust a paper into her hands. "Here. Go find the books."

Misao stared blankly at the list of books. "…Where are they?" she asked.

"On the shelves!" Kaoru said exasperatedly, gesturing towards the shelves of books that filled the library.

"Right. How stupid of me." Misao muttered darkly as she got up and walked over to the shelves.

She stared dejectedly at the rows and rows of shelves. She glanced down at the paper filled with book titles and numbers. She stared back at the rows and rows of shelves. "How the hell am I supposed to find any of these?" she whispered to herself. She sighed defeatedly, and started wandering confusedly around the shelves. She occasionally glanced at the paper as she tried to figure out which shelf housed the books she was looking for.

Kaoru watched her friend start her 12th lap around the shelves. With a sigh, she got up and led Misao out of the maze of books. She snatched the now wadded up piece of paper away from Misao before she could toss it at anyone in frustration. "Just find a table." Kaoru said as she straightened the paper out and went in search of the books.

"Gladly." Misao said as she dropped into a chair at the nearest empty table. She stretched and yawned loudly. Libraries bored her. How she hated them, with the fiery burning passion of a thousand hells. She glanced around the library boredly. Nothing but boring people doing boring things. She looked over at the maze of shelves for Kaoru, but the shelves were too tall and she couldn't see her.

Misao held on to the edge of the table, and rocked her chair back on two legs. She stared boredly up at the fluorescent lights. She wanted out of this silent prison. She blew a huge bubble with her gum as she continued her staring contest with the ceiling.

**Pop. **

She heard something behind her move, so she tilted her head back to see what it was. And found herself being glared at by an angry looking man with icy blue eyes. She almost let go of the edge of the table in surprise. She glared defiantly at the guy, and blew an even bigger bubble.

**POP!**

The man glared at her even more, if that was humanly possible. Misao sat up and turned to have a glaring contest with him. She was about to flick him off for his random rude hostility, when Kaoru suddenly emerged from the shelf maze with a huge pile of books.

She dumped the books on Misao's table.

Misao stared at them dumbfounded. "What the hell!" she demanded loudly.

"Books. For your research." Kaoru stated as if it should be the most obvious thing in the world.

"You've **got** to be kidding me!"

"Misao, you might wanna keep your voice down…" Kaoru warned, staring past her. Misao turned her head to follow Kaoru's gaze.

Misao glared back at the pissed off glaring man from before. "WHAT?" she yelled at him. "Am I not talking loud enough for ya?!"

He just glared at her.

"LEAVE!" The librarian roared, standing up behind her huge desk and pointing dramatically towards the door.

"Yeah, yeah. I know." Misao mumbled as she stormed to the door. She paused at the door, and turned to face everyone in the library. "AU REVOIR!" she shouted, blowing a kiss to the glaring man in the back, the silent jackass whose fault it was she had been kicked out. Then she turned, and pranced out the door and down the stairs.

Kaoru rushed out, pausing by the librarians desk long enough to mutter "Sorry." before she ran out the door to catch up with her friend.

"What the hell was that?" Kaoru demanded as soon as she caught up with Misao.

"What the hell was what?" Misao asked innocently.

"Getting kicked out of the library like that!"

Misao shrugged. "That jackass glared at me."

Kaoru massaged her temples. "I sacrificed my lunch hour to help you work on your research paper…"

She was cut off by Misao shoving a dollar into her hand. "A dollar for your efforts."

Kaoru blinked at her. "A dollar? A dollar doesn't make it better."

"Sure it does. Buy yourself a coke. Now I gotta go sleep through another class, so catch ya later." she said as she took off down the hall.

Kaoru sighed as she watched her disappear down the hallway. "That's what you get for trying to help Misao." She walked down to the nearest vending machine and bought a Coke.

Coke always did make her feel better.

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[A/N: 3 pages even! Damn, I'm good. I was gonna write more, but it's 2:30 now. So no. It's so late its tomorrow. And my thoughts aren't making sense any more. Not like they ever do. Anwyay. YAY for Coke. Coke is my hero. Hehehe. I thought that wasn't too bad for a random ass idea that popped into my head at 1 AM. But if you don't agree, it'll get better. I think. I hope. Alright, I have no plans whatsoever for this story. I'll jus make it up as I go along. (Or toss it.) What's a plot?]

**Love it, hate it Review it, flame it. **I'm a review junkie ;) The attention makes me feel special, even when it's a bad review. Go ahead, roast it til it burns! I don't get offended. If I did, I wouldn't post my stories here.


	2. Touch me, I'm sick!

[A/N: You're all too kind . I love all of you, you guys rock like a gravel driveway! Oh, by the way, the title for this chapter comes from Mudhoney's song of the same name. (I love that song) I couldn't think of a decent name for this chapter, so there ya go. And now on to the insanity...]  
  
**THE DISCLAIMER:** Rurouni Kenshin belongs to the Japanese. Song title belongs to Mudhoney. I'm just a poor starving college student who writes fanfics in her spare time. Don't sue.

**Stalking Shinomori  
**_  
By the brain dead, half starved Kat  
  
_Chapter 2:  
  
Touch me, I'm sick!

_  
_  
Misao's eyes glanced unseeingly over the page she was supposed to be reading. The words all blurred together into one huge incomprehensible black blob. She flipped the page annoyed, and stifled a yawn.   
  
She didn't want to be doing this. She would rather be anywhere, doing anything else, than trying to read this damn book.   
  
She glanced over the top of the book at the other occupants of the table. Kenshin looked like he had passed out on the book he was supposed to be taking notes from. Misao felt sorry for him, he really shouldn't have had anything to do with any of this. Kaoru had been too embaressed to show her face in the library after the whole getting thrown out thing. Misao refused to ever step foot in the library again, claiming it was the 7th level of hell, and that she would have nothing to do with Satan's wife: The evil library overlord. As Kaoru pointed out, you needed books to write a research paper. And as neither of them would go within 10 feet of the library, Kaoru forced Kenshin to check out twice his body weight in books, and carry them down to the student lounge.   
  
That was Kaoru's solution to everything. Make Kenshin do it.   
  
That's how he had gotten stuck helping them take notes for her essay. Her make up essay for the make up essay she hadn't bothered to write. Whether she passed or failed the course depended solely on this one essay.   
  
Misao looked over at Kaoru's notes. It looked as if she had a novel's worth of notes. And now she would be forced to read them all. Why had she even mentioned it to Kaoru? Fuck, She should've just taken her F, and been done with it. It would be better then sitting here working her ass off! She glanced down at her own page of notes.   
  
'Economy has something to do with money.'  
  
Misao gave a frustrated growl, wadded her notes up, and tossed them at Kaoru's head.   
  
"HEY! What was that for?"  
  
"I'm done. I quit. I'm taking the F. I don't care."  
  
"YOU CAN'T QUIT! I WORKED TOO HARD ON THIS DAMN PAPER!"  
  
Misao snorted. "Whose fault is that?"  
  
"It's _yours_. You asked me to help you, idiot." Kaoru raged.  
  
"Yeah. I wanted youto help me underachieve on my essay not write the Gone with the Wind of economics papers. _That_ was your choice." she pointed out.  
  
"Well, if you're going to do something, you might as well do it right."  
  
"Aren't you just lil' miss perfect." Misao said, rolling her eyes.

"Here I am, being nice and trying to get you a passing grade, and you turn all bitchy. What the fuck?"

Misao sighed. "I'm sorry. I know you're just trying to help. Just don't expect me to read all those." She said, pointing at the notes. "Because I'm not going to."

"Do you even want to pass this class?"

"Of course I do. But I'm not gonna bust my ass over it. I'm a slacker, remember?"

Kaoru went off on one of her lectures, something about how she was messing up her GPA, and would be thrown out of school if she wasn't careful. Misao wasn't really listening. She just stared blankly past her, watching the people walking through lounge area. Praying for someone, anyone, she knew to come and save her from Kaoru's speech. Unfortunately, she didn't recognize any of the people wandering through the room. Then, suddenly and unexpectedly, someone she did recognize appeared.

"THE JACKASS!" Misao shouted, jumping up and knocking her chair over.

"Wha?" Kenshin asked, blinking confusedly as he woke up.

"You weren't even listening to me!" Kaoru cried indignantly.

Misao ignored her and stalked out of the lounge after the man, grateful to have an excuse to make her escape. Besides, she had to tell him off for being such a rudely hostile jackass. And she was pissed off at him for getting her banished from the library. Not that she ever actually used the library, but just the thought that she wasn't welcome somewhere pissed her off.

The Jackass didn't seem to notice she was following him. She wasn't trying to be quiet, she figured he would've heard her and turned to look, or started running, or something. But he merely continued going where ever the hell it was he was going. 'He's ignoring me!' Misao thought angrily. She added that to her list of reasons why he was a jackass. [Reason #4: Doesn't even have the common courtesy to acknowledge the fact that he's being stalked by an angry woman.]

Misao blinked as he entered the men's bathroom. She hesitated for a minute, before she decided that this was the perfect place to corner him and chew him out for being such a jackass. (Never mind the fact she had no idea who he was, or that he was probably in there using the bathroom…) She marched confidently up to the door, and threw it open.

"Oi! Jacka – AAAAAAH!" she yelped in pain as someone yanked on her braid, pulling her away from the door.

"That's the men's bathroom, in case you've forgotten how to read, weasel."

Misao spun around to face the voice. "Sano, you bastard! Leave me the hell alone!"

"You were about to walk into the men's bathroom."

"I know that's the men's bathroom!"

"Then why were you going in there?" Sano inquired.

"That's none of your damn business."

"Oh. It's like _that._"

"It's like what?" Misao asked, confused.

"You don't have to pretend. I know you're after some bathroom sex."

Misao's eyes grew wide. "WHAT?!" She yelled.

"It's alright. I completely understand." He said, pushing her back towards the bathroom door.

Misao grabbed onto the door frame to keep from being shoved into the bathroom. "SANO YOU PERVERT!" she screamed at him. "I DON'T WANT BATHROOM SEX!"

Just then, the bathroom door opened, and there stood the jackass himself. He stared down at her, looking shocked. She guessed he had heard her outburst. She stared up at him, completely embarrassed. After what seemed like an eternity, she realized she was blocking the doorway. And after another eternity, she finally managed to get her hands to let go of the doorframe, and she stepped out of his way. She carefully studied the flooring, too mortified to look at him. He walked past her, glancing over his shoulder at her as he walked away, still looking shocked.

Sanosuke laughed until he cried. "That," he said, wiping away tears of laughter, "was PERFECT! I'm glad I came to school today. You just made my entire day, ya know that?"

"Fuck you."

"That was the biggest reaction anyone's ever gotten out of Shinomori. It was great! I wish I had a camera." he continued, completely ignoring her.

"You're a sick bast- WAIT! You know him?" she asked, forgetting that she hated him right now.

"Yeah…why?" he asked completely mystified.

Misao grabbed the front of his shirt. "What's his name!" she demanded to know.

Sano stared down at her. She was scaring him. "…Aoshi Shinomori…"

Misao let go of him, and pointed down the hallway Aoshi had walked down. "HA! HA! I KNOW YOUR NAME, JACKASS!" she shouted at the man who was no longer there.

Sano backed away slowly, leaving Misao to laugh evilly by herself.

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[A/N: ::grins:: So that's that. Thanks again to all the reviewers for taking the time to review this! I appreciates it :D

'til next time-

Kat.]


	3. Tea at the Aoiya

[A/N: YAY for the reviewers! You guys made my crappy day good. I love all of you! So I wrote you another chapter. Woot. This is the easiest story to write. And the most fun. Hurray for random insanity! You would think that with the word 'stalking' in the title, there would be more actual stalking, non? Kind of misleading, isn't it? -. - But it seems my random ass imagination keeps imaging things that have nothing to do with stalking. :/ Saaadness. But rest assured, there will be stalking! …just not in this chapter. This one's full of…other things. Mwahahaha.]

**THE DISCLAIMER: **I don't own Rurouni Kenshin. You don't sue me. Everybody's happy.

****

**Stalking Shinomori**

By the girl who names her stories misleading things

**Chapter 3:**

_Tea at the Aoiya_

Misao growled as another pile of dirty dishes was set in front of her.

"Why do I have to do the dishes?" she asked.

"Because the dishwasher broke." Omasu said with a sigh as she explained it to the girl for the 10th time that morning.

"But why can't someone else do it?"

"Because I told you to do it."

"Why can't I do something else!"

"Because you're doing the dishes." Omasu said as she carried a plate of food out of the kitchen.

"GOD DAMN DISHES!" Misao shouted as she squirted the bottle of soap all over them.

"Misao!" Okon said softly, poking her head through the little window into the kitchen. "You might wanna keep it down. The customers can hear you!" she said before her head disappeared back into the dining room.

"**I HATE THESE FUCKING DISHES!" **Misao shouted extra loudly, just to make sure the whole damn restaurant could hear her.

"MISAO!" Omasu chided, poking her head through the door. "Language!"

Misao rolled her eyes as she started scrubbing the food off the plates, cursing them under her breath the entire time.

Finally, after what felt like for ever, the dishes were done. She collapsed into a chair, and stared at her wrinkled hands.

"What the hell did those dishes do to you?" She whined sadly at them.

"Misao!"  Okon said, breaking into her thoughts about evil dishwater.

"I'm not slacking!" She said automatically jumping up from her chair. "The dishes are done." She said pointing a wrinkled hand at the empty sink.

"Table 13 needs some tea. Could you get it? We're all really busy out here."

"Yeah, sure!" Misao cried happily, glad to be freed from her dishwashing prison. She grabbed the tea kettle and a cup, and pranced happily out of the kitchen.

"Don't spill it." Okon warned as Misao pranced past her. She shook her head and sighed softly as Misao flipped her off. "That girl…"

Misao stopped prancing once she realized just who it was at table 13. "MY JACKASS!" She said happily to herself. She grinned, and continued prancing over to his table. Maybe this day wouldn't be so bad after all.

He didn't even look at her as she approached her table. That pissed her off just a little.

"Your tea, M. Shinomori." She said dramatically, setting the cup down in front of him and filling it.

She stood there grinning like the Cheshire cat, waiting for a reaction. She expected him to be shocked, and ask something like 'How did you know my name?' or 'Who the hell are you?' 

He just picked up the tea cup, and sipped his tea without ever glancing at her.

Misao scowled. "Jackass." she muttered before storming back to the kitchen.

She muttered various curses under her breath as she made a new kettle of tea, finally slamming it onto the stove to heat it up.

"God damn bastard. What crawled up his ass and died?" She asked the kettle, as she sat down and stared at it boredly.

"Misao! Table 13 needs a refill." Omasu called though the window at her.

Great. She had to go refill the jackass now. "Do it yourself." she called back to her.

"Misao!"

The kettle whistled, and she snatched it off the stove. "I'm going. GOD!" Misao grumbled as she stalked angrily out of the kitchen and back over to table 13.

She was halfway across the room when she was struck with a brilliantly evil idea. She fought to keep the creepy little smirk from curling across her face as she made her way closer to the table.

She had just reached the table, when she tripped. She fell forward and just barely caught herself on the edge of the table before she fell flat on her face.

But, unfortunately, as she fell the kettle in her hand tipped forward, dumping hot tea all over Aoshi's lap.

"AAAAAHHHHHH!" He leapt up, let out an anguished cry, and every person in the restaurant stared over at him, wondering what was going on.

It took everything she had to not bust out laughing. "OH MY GOD!" Misao shouted, struggling to keep a smile off of her face. "OH MY GOD! I'M SOOO SORRY!" She shouted, sounding not very sorry at all. It almost sounded like she was trying to hide a laugh behind all that shouting.

He glared at her, as she continued apologizing.

"MISAO!" and old man shouted as he raced over to the table. "What happened over here?"

"I'm sorry Jiya! I accidentally tripped!" Misao explained, trying to look apologetic and shocked all at the same time. "And the tea spilled on Mr. Shinomori here. And…I think it was hot."

If he didn't know better, he would've thought Misao was trying to hide a smile as she said that last part. He glanced over at the tall young man with the pained look on his face. "I'm so sorry sir! I don't know what's come over my waitress, she's usually not this careless." he said, glaring at Misao, who was now creeping back towards the kitchen.

The angry man just glared at him.

"MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Misao broke out into evil laughter as soon as she was safely in the kitchen.

"Misao!" Shiro said, sticking his in the window. "You're scaring the customers!"

Misao peeked out the door, and sure enough everyone was staring nervously towards the kitchen. "Just practicing for a school play!" she cried cheerily before she pulled her head back into the kitchen.

There was a collective "Oh." from the dinning area as the customers went about their business.

Okon, Omasu and Jiya burst into the kitchen. "Misao, what the hell happened out there?" Jiya demanded to know.

"It was an accident!" Misao cried defensively. "I tripped, and the tea spilled all over his lap, and burnt his….man parts."

The three of them just blinked at her.  "Well." Jiya finally managed to say. "I couldn't charge him for the tea after…that…happened. So I'm taking it out of your pay check, Misao."

Misao shrugged. "Whatever, Gramps."

"I think it'd be best if she stayed in here and washed dishes for the rest of the day." Omasu suggested. "We don't want any more….accidents."

"I think that's a good idea." Jiya said dryly.

Misao glared at the three of them as they left the kitchen.

She grinned and chuckled at herself as she skipped over to the sink. It had been worth it. That jackass had it coming. She whistled happily as she started on the huge pile of dishes that were sitting in the sink.

It had been a good day after all.

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[A/N: YAY! Another chapter written! And this one has random burning! YAY for random violence. Hehe, I haven't had enough sleep today. If this one doesn't make much sense, let me know, and I'll fix it. I'm too lazy to proof read it right now. But now I gotta go study for finals. ::grumbles:: what kind of evil bastard makes finals the day after memorial day? But after finals, a week of relaxation, and then VACATION! I don't know if I'll get any more chapters written before my vacation. (Unless I randomly get a great idea for this and have to write it up before it goes away.) I won't be back til the end of June, and I'll prolly be too lazy to write something for a while after that. So after July, feel free to send threatening e-mails/IMs to me, or otherwise, I may not get around to updating this for a long time. What can I say? I'm a slacker. You have to kick my ass to get me to do things. :/ Prolly why I've never been able to keep a job for more then 8 months. :/

Thanks again to everyone who reads this, and an even bigger thanks to those who review it!

Til next time – Kat]


	4. Now with MORE Stalking!

**[A/N: **I'm back…finally! I'm sorry it's taken a while, I've been really busy. I work full time now, and have two classes, so I basically have no free time any more. (Which really sucks.) So what I'm saying is that it'll prolly take me a while between updates now. Unless I get really inspired and start writing during lunch…(don't count on it. I love lunch too much.) But I'm another year older now! 19! The last –teen! YAY! (I'm ready to loose the –teen.) Haha, you'd never guess that I was 19, with all my immature insanity…but I am! . immature insanity is just too much fun! SO, here's the chapter. Unfortunately, it's more of a filler chapter than anything. I'm still trying to figure out how to make my good idea work, and give this story [somewhat] of a plot [or a point, at least] But until then, fill yourselves with pointless insanity from my filler chapter. I hope it makes sense…it's just a collection of little ideas that I couldn't turn into chapters….** ]**

**THE DISCLAIMER: ** I still don't own it.

**THE DEDICATION: **For Jon-Jon, who puts up with my crap when no one else will. I loves ya, man! ::****the single tear::****

Stalking Shinomori

By the Muffin of Doom and Despair

**Chapter 4**

_Now with MORE Stalking!_

I rode my bicycle past your window last night.

I roller skated to your door at daylight.

It almost seems like you're avoiding me…

-Janis Joplin, 'Roller Skate Song'

The weeks following the 'tea incident', Misao became Aoshi's shadow. A deranged, stalking shadow. Whenever anyone asked her why exactly she was stalking him, she would shrug and say that it was fun messing with him like that. Or that it was because she hated him for being such a jackass.

But whatever the reason, everywhere that Aoshi went, Misao was sure to follow. . .

---------------------------------------

Aoshi Shinomori was slowly going insane. He was sure of it.

Everywhere he looked, there _she_ was. Or so it seemed.

He took a deep breath, and opened the bathroom stall a crack. He stuck his head out a little, and glanced nervously to his left and right. Once he was sure he was the only occupant of the bathroom, he stepped out of the stall.

He crept silently towards the sink, not wanting to let anyone know he was there. He turned the sink's faucet a little.

Squeeeeeeeak.

He spun around and surveyed the empty bathroom. Nobody was there. The bathroom was just that- an empty one.

He turned the faucet the rest of the way on and washed his hands.

He looked at himself in the mirror and shook his head. "You're loosing it, Shinomori."

And he was.

He knew only crazy people talk to themselves in third person.

Aoshi watched horrified as one of the stalls in the mirror swung open, and there stood Misao.

He turned around to face her.

"Why are you doing this to me?!" He cried to the empty bathroom stall.

He couldn't take this anymore.

He rushed out of the bathroom…only to run right into Misao, knocking her on her butt.

Aoshi stared down at her dumbly as she climbed to her feet.

"Watch where you're goin', Shinomori." Misao growled as she bent to get a drink from the water fountain.

He continued to stare at her, trying to figure out if she was actually there, or if it was just his imagination. Or had she actually been in the bathroom stall?

Misao glanced up from the water fountain at him, curious as to why he was just staring at her like she was insane. "What?"

"….sorry…." he finally muttered, as he started walking down the hall.

Misao stared after him, mouth hanging open. "You can talk!" she shouted. "You can talk!"

He never looked back.

"You talked to **ME!**" she cried, clapping her hands.

As her insane laughter echoed down the hallway, Aoshi had a sinking feeling that he would wish he'd kept his mouth shut.

---------------------------------------

"Hey Shinomori!" Misao called happily as she approached his table with her candy bar and a coke.

He sighed. He'd been hoping for a Misa-free afternoon.

"Whatcha doin?" she asked as she sat down across from him.

Aoshi just continued working, hoping she'd get the hint and go away.

When he didn't answer, Misao flipped the book shut and read the title. "Calculus?" she asked. "God, I hate math." she shuddered.

He growled and opened the book back to the page he had been working on.

She leaned over the table and studied the page. "How can you do that shit?" she mumbled with a mouth full of candy bar.

He continued ignoring her, praying that she'd give up and leave him alone.

"Am I buggin' you?" she asked, sounding like she didn't care.

He stared pointedly at her.

"If you want me to leave you alone, just say it. Say, 'Misao, leave me the hell alone.' And I will."

"Misao, leave me the hell alone." Aoshi said coldly.

"Jackass." Misao said angrily as she got up and shoved his book off the table. She grabbed her candy bar and her coke and stormed out of the room muttering a string of curses, aimed no doubt, at him.

Aoshi sighed. He was sure she wouldn't leave him alone. He doubted she'd EVER leave him alone. The rest of his days would be plagued by one Makimachi Misao.

---------------------------------------

The front steps of the school were surrounded by tall bushes. From these bushes, you could watch everyone as they walked down the stairs, and out to the parking lot.

"Perfect!" Misao said, rubbing her hands together and laughing evilly as hundreds of evil villains had done before her.

"Misao! I'm not getting in those bushes! What if they're poisonous?" Kaoru protested.

Misao rolled her eyes and shoved her best friend into the bushes. "If they were poisonous, they wouldn't plant them in front of a school."

"What if they didn't know they were poisonous bushes? Or what if they're only poisonous to some people?" Kaoru asked, popping out of the bushes.

Misao shoved her back down into them. "Stay in there! You're just being stupid!"

"If I break out in some kind of rash, I'm kicking your ass!" the bushes shouted.

Misao smiled nervously and waved to a group of students who were coming down the stairs, staring curiously at the shouting bushes. Misao waited until they were out of sight before climbing in the bushes herself.

"Idiot!" she hissed, smacking Kaoru upside the head. "Keep it down! People can hear you!"

"Ooow!" Kaoru whined, rubbing her head. "That HURT!" she said, smacking Kaoru back.

"AAAAH!" Misao cried, clasping her hands over her eye. "You're ring stabbed me in the eye!"

"Sorry!"

"What the hell are you two doing in there?" Sanosuke asked loudly, peering in the bushes at his friends.

"SHHH!" they hissed at him.

"What are you guys doing in the bushes?" he asked just as loudly.

Misao glanced up the stairs before grabbing his arm and yanking him into the bush. "He'll see you, dumbass!" she whispered.

"What the fuck!" Sano shouted, not liking being dragged into a bush at all.

Misao and Kaoru both slapped their hands over his mouth. "SHHH!" they hissed.

Sano glared at them.

"There he goes!" Kaoru whispered, shoving Misao out of the bushes.

Misao stumbled disoriented out of the bush, blinking in the sudden brightness of the sunlight. Sure enough, there went Shinomori. She staggered after him, her legs cramped from being crouched so awkwardly in the bushes. She had grass stains on her jeans, and bits of bush caught in her braid. One eye was blood shot from being stabbed by Kaoru's ring, and she was still squinting from the bright sunlight.

Aoshi didn't notice her until he was unlocking his car door. His eyes widened in fear as he watched the squinting bush child come lumbering up towards him. He fumbled with the keys in the lock as she drew closer.

"Nice car!" she shouted, grinning at him. Unfortunately, it looked more like a twisted demented grimace than a smile, as she was squinting into the sun.

Aoshi finally managed to open the door. He climbed in and slammed the door, locking it before she could attack him.

The car roared to life, and Misao slammed her hands down on the hood. "Jackass!" she shouted at him as he threw the car in reverse and sped away from her.

**[A/N: **I hope that didn't confuse you as much as it confused me. And if it did, well then, we can all be confused together! I promise next chapter will be an actual chapter, not more filler crap. -.- I just gotta find time. I don't know how soon I can get another chapter written, I need to work on my other neglected stories. ::sigh:: But I'll try not to let it be too long…I hope.]


	5. Hell, thy name is Economics 101

{A/N: DUDES! It's an update! ::shocking!:: Sorry. Life's been really busy. I think my head is gonna explode soon. Work has kept me over-worked, and school's been kicking my ass like it always does Basically, I have no free time. -.- And with the free time I do have, I hang out with a good friend who just got back from the war. (Sorry guys, but friends who don't die in wars are more important than stories.) I checked my mail today and noticed I had a few emails about updating, so I decided to update before friendly reminders turn into death threats. O.O;; I never thought this story would be that popular…. SO! Here's your update! . I came up with a few ideas whilst I was stuck in the daily hell that is Atlanta gridlock, only to realize that none of them fit that well with the story. So this is what I call a 'plot modification' chapter. Not that this ever really had a plot.}

**THE DISCLAIMER: **I never have, nor ever will, own Rurouni Kenshin. Unless I some day awake to find myself as rich as The Donald. Then I would buy Rurouni Kenshin, and never have to write another of these disclaimers again. (Hey, I can dream.)

Stalking Shinomori

By the Slacker-ass Muffin of Death

**Chapter 5:**

_Hell, thy name is Economics 101._

****

Misao grinned eagerly as she waited for the computer to display the page that held her final grades.

"GRRRRRR! Why are school computers always so damn slow?" Misao asked, louder than necessary.

"Misao! Keep it down!" Kaoru warned, casting a nervous glance over atthe lab monitor. "You've already been banished from the library, you wanna get kicked out of the computer lab too?"

"SORRY!" Misao whispered loudly, rolling her eyes. "GOD! This is taking forver!!" Misao hissed, spinning around a few times in her office chair.

Kaoru pointedly ignored her. Misao stuck her tongue out, and rolled past her to sit next to Kenshin who was staring blankly at the hypnotic, endless loop that is Netscape's loading logo.

"Kenshin!" Misao whispered in his ear.

"ORO?!?" Kenshin shouted, startled out of his Netscape trance.

"Let's race! You and me, office chairs, 10 laps around the room. First one back to the table wins a sourdough bacon cheese burger from the Carl's Jr. Jr."

"Oro??" Kenshin asked confusedly, still dazed from the Netscape trance.

"Don't 'oro' me! Just race!" Misao said, grabbing the back of his chair and pulling him away from the computer table.

"Wait! Misao! Netscape!" Kenshin said, waving his arms frantically towards the computer as he was dragged away.

"It'll still be there. Forget about it." Misao said, spinning his chair around so that it faced the same direction as hers. "Starting marks, and GO! GO! GO!" Misao cried happily as she gave his chair a shove and then zoomed past him in her own chair as he spun helplessly around in circles.

"OFFICE FURNITURE IS NOT A TOY!" The lab monitor shouted from behind his computer, the light from the screen giving his face an eerie evil glow.

"Sorry sir!" Kaoru said quickly, racing forward to catch Misao by the end of her braid as she zoomed past. "My friend's got issues."

"OW!" Misao shouted as she was dragged back to her table by her braid. "OW! OW! OWWW! DAMMIT KAORU, LET GO OF MY HAIR!"

Kaoru pushed her back under the table and pointed at the computer screen. "It's loaded. Check your grades and stop being stupid. You'll get us kicked out of here too if you keep it up."

Kenshin continued spinning helplessly in circles, letting out a continuous string of dizzy "Oros."

Kaoru grabbed his chair and stopped it's spinning. "You alright?" she asked the poor dizzy man.

"Orororo." Kenshin moaned as the room spun around him.

"GOOD!" Kaoru said brightly as she dragged her poor battered boyfriend back over to the table. "Misao, stop torturing Kenshin." she said, punching her friend in the back of the head.

"NOOOOOOOOO!" Misao howled, completely ignoring Kaoru and the blow to the head.

"NO! NO! NO! NO! NOOOOOOOO!" Misao continued her tirade, smacking the sides of the computer monitor, making the picture flicker and jump around.

"AHHHHHHHH!" The lab monitor cried at the sight of the precious computer being beaten so brutally. "STOP HER! STOP HER! SHE'LL BREAK IT!" he cried, leaping from his chair and clasping a hand over his heart.

"MISAO!" Kaoru and Kenshin both cried, jumping up to restrain her blows to the delicate machine.

Finding herself fully restrained, Misao only howled louder. "NOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

"MISAO!" Kaoru shouted into her anguished friend's ear, as she clamped a hand over her mouth. "SHUT UP!"

What's wrong, Misao?" Kenshin asked gently, not wanting to further enrage the already enraged Misao.

Misao bit down on Kaoru's hand, and snatched her arms from their grasp. "**_THAT'S_**WHAT'S WRONG!" She shouted, flicking the computer screen repeatedly.

"My hand! She BIT me! I'm rabid!" Kaoru anguished over the bite marks in her hand.

Kenshin pushed Misao's hand away from the monitor to stop the flicking so he could read the display of her transcript.

"ORO!?!" Kenshin said as he stared in disbelief at the screen.

"What? What is it? Lemme see!" Kaoru said, forgetting her hand and shoving her friends away from the monitor. "OH….MY….GOD!" Kaoru shrieked, grabbing Misao by the neck and shaking her. "DID YOU EVEN TURN IN THAT ECONOMICS PAPER I WROTE FOR YOU?!"

"Yeah..." Misao managed to gasp out.

"THEN WHAT IS THAT!" Kaoru shouted, stopping the shaking to point accusingly at the screen.

"Since when are you my mother?" Misao muttered under her breath. "I don't see why you're making a big deal of it. It's my grades." she challenged.

"I worked HARD on that paper. On a paper for a class I wasn't even TAKING. And THIS IS THE THANKS I GET!" Kaoru shouted, pointing yet again at the grade on the screen.

"Maybe…maybe Misao's economics instructor didn't believe she actually wrote the paper." Kenshin suggested cautiously.

"WHY THE HELL NOT?" Kaoru and Misao demanded to know, turning to face him.

"Because maybe it was too well written, you know? Maybe Kaoru put too much work into it, and the teacher could tell that it wasn't Misao's work…"

"What are you tryin to say?" Misao asked, grabbing Kenshin by the front of the shirt and pulling him down to her sitting level.

Kenshin laughed nervously. "That the teacher could tell that you had someone else write the paper for you, because Kaoru put more effort into it than you put into your other assignments."

"Oh." Misao said, letting Kenshin go.

"…oro…" Kenshin sighed, relieved to be out of Misao's clutches.

"It's all you fault, you damn slacker!" Kaoru shouted. "All that work! FOR NOTHING!"

"I _told_ you not to work so hard on my paper." Misao reminded her.

"…YOU….!" Kaoru shouted, pointing repeatedly at Misao, who just stretched and yawned.

"What's done is done!" Kenshin said quickly, pushing Kaoru's arm back down to her side.

"But…my paper!" Kaoru whined.

"MY paper." Misao objected. "I would've failed anyway. So I guess it's no big loss."

"But Misao! You're on academic warning!"

"Yeah, so? When am I not on academic warning? Only you worry about shit like that, Kaoru. I just don't wanna have to take that damn class over again. It was boring."

"…you only went to class 10 times…" Kenshin pointed out.

"Yeah, so? Those were the 10 most boring times in my life."

"Misao, you're hopeless." Kaoru sighed. "How did you ever get into college in the first place?"

Misao grinned. "I do well on standardized tests. Any way, let's forget this crap and go get some food. Failing classes makes me hungry." Misao said leaping out of her chair and skipping towards the door.

Kenshin and Kaoru glanced at each other and shrugged. They followed after her, as she skipped down the hall humming a happy song. You'd never guess she'd just beaten up a computer in a fit of rage because she'd failed a class. It seemed no one would ever figure Misao out.

Misao paused in the doorway to the student's lounge. "YO SHINOMORI!" She shouted into the crowded room. She waited til he looked at her, and blew him a kiss before she continued her skipping.

"Ya know, Misao…." Kaoru said cautiously, "You're gonna have to take that economics class over again now."

Misao stopped skipping and leaned against the wall, sighing dramatically. "Yes, I know. I have to waste more hours of my life in that class. Why me? Why? Why did you have to remind me before lunch? Why, Kaoru, WHY?" she said tragically.

"Sorry…" Kaoru apologized. "Kenshin'll buy us lunch!" she offered, hoping to cheer her friend up. "Won't you, Kenshin?"

"ORO?!"

"Kenshin, you're the best!" Misao cried, throwing an arm around his shoulders and dragging him off towards the exit. "You know, they have a new all you can eat Chinese buffet a couple blocks away."

"Oh yeah! I heard it's really good!" Kaoru said happily.

"I heard it was really expensive." Kenshin said, defeated.

"All you can eat." Misao repeated, as if that made it worth the price.

{A/N: Out of character? Yeah, probably. Fun to write? Hell yeah. That's all that matters. (For me any way.) Sorry if they out of characterness bugs ya. . I think I had too much fun with this one. FORGIIIVE MEEE! :(

Hmm. that wasn't quite what I had expected it would be. (That's what I get for writing something off the top of my head, no?) But there it was. The plot modification chapter. Now I can start on my new found plot- next time I get around to updating! Whenever that is…}


	6. Great day in the mornin!

**No. I haven't died. **

Nor have I given up on this project. Sorry for the lack of updates. I just haven't had the time to write lately. Working full time and carrying a full load of classes was harder than I thought it would be. That and I just haven't felt like writing much lately. Call me a lazy bum, but lately I'd rather spend my weekends drinking with my guys. And whenever I did feel like writing, the FFnet was down.

But never fear. I will finish this, sometime before 2006. I don't know how long the story'll end up being. Or how long it'll be between updates. This story is my baby. I love it. It's fun and pointless, and writing it makes me smile. (Quite a feat indeed) So I'll try not to make it total crap. No promises though. It is my story, after all. And everything I touch turns to crap. Like King Midas, but with crap instead of gold.

A million apologies for the delay- Hopefully, you all haven't forgotten this.

-_Kat_

**DISCLAIMER: **Didn't own Kenshin the last five chapters. Don't own it now.

Stalking Shinomori

By the not-dead Muffin (of death)

**Chapter 6**

**_Great Day in the Mornin'!_**

9:20 the stereo clock announced in its bright green glowing numbers.

"It's 9:20!" the annoyingly perky morning DJ announced to listeners all across the greater metro area. "Aaaand-" whatever he had to add would forever remain a mystery to Misao, as she turned her car off silencing the man's happy monologue.

"I know its 9:20!" Misao growled at the now silent stereo, daring it to remind her of the time.

She climbed out of her car, slamming the door behind her. "Who the hell decided to have class at 9:00 in the morning anyway?" she grumbled as she groggily marched her way across the parking lot towards the building.

Luckily for her, Economics 101 was held in the same classroom it had been the semester before. Her feet automatically dragged her down the empty hallways. Before she knew it, she was staring at the closed classroom door.

With something between a yawn and a sigh, she opened the door a crack and slipped into the class. Wearily, she crept down the isles and collapsed into a chair at a table in the back of the room.

_SCRAAAAAAAAAAAPE._

"Makimachi!" The professor, having noticed her arrival, called out.

"Here!" Misao said, raising her hand with a big yawn.

"Yes. I see that. You're thirty minutes late."

"No I'm not!" Misao protested, looking at her watch. It was, indeed, 9:30. "Oh. I am. Damn."

"Not a good impression to make on the first day of the new semester." the professor said, dropping a syllabus in front of Misao. "But, at least you made it. Quite an improvement from last semester. I'm proud of you." she said sarcastically.

Misao squinted up at the professor. "I had you last semester?"

_SCOOOOT._

"Yes, Ms. Makimachi, you took my class last semester."

"Oh." Misao shrugged.

The professor ground her teeth together, and a little vein popped out of her forehead. "OKAY!" she shouted turning to face the rest of the class. "Since you will all be working together a lot this semester, you should get to know a little about the members of the class. You will each introduce the person sitting next to you to the rest of the class. I'll give you the next 20 minutes to get to know each other."

Get to know the class? Misao sighed. "I thought this was supposed to be college." she muttered under her breath.

SQUEEEEAK. SCOOOOCH. BANG!

There it was again, that annoying ear splitting noise of something dragging on the tile floor.

Misao turned to see what it was, and leapt straight out of her chair like it had burned her, sending it crashing to the floor.

The class all turned to stare at her. "Sorry!" she yelped, snatching the chair up. The class continued to stare at her like she was diseased.

Aoshi Shinomori wondered if it was at all possible to tunnel through a brick wall with nothing but his bare hands.

Misao set her chair as close to Aoshi as she possibly could without him leaping up and running across the room. Which was still too close for Aoshi's comfort. He pressed his back up against the wall, and stared at her with that same look of pure terror a mouse gets right before the snake eats it.

Misao smiled her most winning smile at him. "I'm Misao Makimachi." she said, extending her hand. When Aoshi just stared at the hand like it would kill him, Misao scowled and snatched one of his fisted hands off his lap, forcing him to shake her hand. "And you are?" she asked smiling brightly, even though she knew his name.

He frowned at her and shook his hand free from her clutches. "Stop being a moron."

Misao gave him her death glare. "I'm not being a moron, jackass." she ground out. "I'm being pleasant and getting to know you so I can introduce you to the class. Now what's your name?!"

Aoshi studied the seething girl for a moment before muttering "Aoshi Shinomori."

"Aoshi Shinomori!" Misao gushed. "How nice to meet you!"

Aoshi tried desperately to put more space between him and the deranged girl, but the damned wall was stopping him from getting any further away – much to Misao's delight.

Misao leaned in closer, propping herself up on her knees. She had him caged in, there was no place for him to go. She grinned at his obvious discomfort. "So, where are ya from?"

Aoshi didn't see a point in this hell. But a quick glance around the room showed that all his classmates were indeed introducing themselves to each other, and that all the other seats at all the other tables were taken. He sighed. "Kyoto."

"KYOTO!" Misao said over enthusiastically, "I'm from Kyoto too! Go figure. I wonder why I never saw you there-"

"Kyoto's a big place." Aoshi said coldly, cutting off her happy rant.

She glared, looking like she wanted to say something, but held herself back- for once. She cleared her throat lightly. "How old are you?" she asked with slightly forced pleasantness.

Aoshi raised an eyebrow. "Isn't that kind of personal?"

"It's not like I asked you your **shoe size, **or how much you **weigh.**" Misao said tersely, "Now, how old are you?" she repeated with a glint in her eye.

Aoshi stared at her for a minute before deciding he really didn't want to piss off the crazy tiny girl. There was no telling what she might do, and he knew that for a fact. "28." he resigned.

Misao blinked. "28? Aren't you kind of old to still be in college?" she asked without thinking. The moment the words were out of her mouth, she wished she hadn't said it.

Aoshi glared at her. "Aren't you kind of young to be in college?" he countered. "What are you, 15?"

Misao glared at him with a look of pure hatred and rage, and growled. "I'M 20, YOU SHIT HEAD!" She shouted. Nothing pissed Misao off like people thinking she was younger than she actually was.

"Okay! Time's up!" The professor announced suddenly.

Misao dropped the book she had been about to beat Aoshi to a bloody pulp with. "I'm 20, jackass." she muttered, slumping back in her chair, the insane rage dying out.

Aoshi breathed a premature sigh of relief.

"Who would like to go first and introduce their partner to the class?"

"I would." Misao proclaimed dramatically, leaping out of her chair and holding her arm straight up in the air.

The professor spun around to face her, surprised. "Okay, Ms. Makimachi, go ahead."

"Gladly." Misao said, before continuing in her most professional businesslike tone, "Mr. Aoshi Shinomori is without a doubt, one of THE most cold, anti-social, unpleasant shit headed-"

"Makimachi!" the professor cried at the use of such abusive profane language.

"JACKASSES," Misao continued without missing a beat, "I have ever had the misfortune of meeting in my entire life."

"MISAO!" the professor shouted, gesturing wildly towards the door. "OUT!"

Misao obediently walked to the door, pausing before she opened it. She turned back to face the class. "Don't be fooled just because he's nice to look at. He's a jackass." And with that she exited the room, slamming the door behind her.

Aoshi stared at the shut door in stunned wonderment.

Misao grinned as she spotted Kenshin and Kaoru walking a little ways up the long hallway. She ran to catch up, and grabbed Kaoru by the arm.

"You'll never guess who's in my economics class!" she gushed with a euphoric smile.

-------------------------------------------------------------------

The AN's: Sorry for the long wait. And I'm sorry your patience didn't really pay off. I was hoping to bring you something wonderfully terrific to make up for all the waiting, but it didn't turn out that way. It seems I've forgotten exactly what I was doing with this. o.o;; Teach me to not write stuff down. -- I hope that wasn't too horrible. I'm going to try (NO PROMISE!) to update again before winter breaks over and I have to go back to school. (Maybe even a couple of times.) I just gotta re-figure out what I wanna do with this, and write it down this time. But I'm glad you've liked it so far, thanks for all the great reviews! You guys kick ass!

I should change the name, since there isn't much stalking. I think I'll call it 'Misao gets kicked out of places.' Seriously, it needs a new name. It's misleading. It misleads ME and I wrote it. Damn my lack of stalking...

Since you're all probably wondering where the hell I came up with a title like 'great day in the mornin' (or not) I'll enlighten you. It's something my 80 year old southern belle of a grandmother has always said. I don't know what it means, really. She uses it in a variety of ways, but mostly as an exclamation. You know, where people would use "Holy shit!" or "Rockin!" she says "great day in the morning!" Like I said, it's versatile. She uses it for everything; I doubt she even knows what it means. shrugs I just got off the phone with my grandma; it's stuck in my head, so it's now the title.

**HAPPY HOLIDAYS!**


	7. Know Your Onion!

**Okay-** _So I lied when I said that I'd try to update before the winter break was over. I didn't really try at all. But here it is, an update, just in time for the Super Bowl! And it's a hell of a lot faster than my updates have been lately. (It's a Super Bowl miracle!) _

**DISCLAIMER: **I don't own Rurouni Kenshin- yet. But I am planning on buying the copyright with my tax returns this year! (Whenever I get around to having my taxes filed...) I also don't own the chapter title. That would belong to The Shins. (I'm buying them with next year's return.)

Stalking Shinomori

By the Breakfast Cupcake of the Un-living

**Chapter 7**

**_Know Your Onion!_**

"Study buddies!" Misao chirped happily with a grin.

Kaoru looked up from her magazine. "What?"

Misao's grin transformed itself into a scowl. "Weren't you listening to anything I just said?"

"No, sorry." Kaoru apologized. "Say it again?"

"God, why do I even bother talking to you?" Misao complained, whacking Kaoru over the head with her notebook.

"What were you saying?" Kaoru asked again, rubbing her head.

Misao collapsed into the arm chair next to Kaoru's, lounging like a cat with one leg thrown over the arm of the chair. "I said," she began with a happy smile, "That Aoshi and I are study buddies."

Kaoru's magazine landed on the tile floor with a THWACK! She sat straight up and looked incredulously at her friend. "What! How did you manage that? I thought he hated you!"

Misao grinned. "It was easy, and he does. I failed the first test, miserably. So the good professor recommended I get someone in the class to help me study, and since Aoshi has the best grade in the class, she suggested he help me. It's very convenient, seeing as how he sits right next to me and all."

Kaoru snorted. "At least she can't accuse you of cheating this time."

"That's true." Misao agreed.

"I still don't get how he agreed to this 'study buddy' thing."

"St. Shinomori could never say no to a teacher, no matter how much he dislikes me." Misao said rolling her eyes. "Speaking of the devil…" she muttered under her breath as a familiarly tall, trench-coated figure emerged from one of the classrooms.

Misao waited patiently until he got near enough to hear her before she shouted "HEY! Shinomori! Don't forget!"

Aoshi glanced at her and nodded once as he passed, then quickened his pace and hurried on his way before she could say anything else to him.

Misao sighed contentedly. "Aoshi 'n me. Study buddies. Ain't life grand?"

Kaoru shook her head. "That poor, poor man." she muttered.

* * *

Misao sat with a look of utmost concentration on her face.

She willed her muscles not to move as she focused with all her might on his hands.

The tips of her fingers twitched.

**SLAP!**

She hadn't even seen it coming, his movements were too quick. He was just too good at this damn game.

"OOOOOW!" Misao roared, rubbing the red marks on the backs of her hands where he had slapped her. "Sano, you bastard!"

"YES! YES! I win, **again!** I am the slap MASTER! HAHA!" Sano crowed. "You lose! **Again! **Loser!"

Misao growled, still rubbing her poor abused hands.

"Loser! LOSER! Loo-oooser!" Sano chanted, pointing repeatedly at Misao.

"Shove that finger at me one more time, and I'll break it off." Misao muttered darkly.

Sano leapt out of his chair, spun around, and slapped his ass. "KISS IT, LOSER!" he shouted happily.

From somewhere behind Misao, a throat cleared. They both turned to see who it was.

"Oh! Hey Aoshi!" Misao said brightly, waving a tomato red hand at him.

Aoshi inwardly rolled his eyes and groaned. This would be hell. "Hello, Makimachi." he said flatly.

Sano smirked. "I'll leave you two to 'study.'" He said, putting quotation marks around the word 'study' with his fingers.

Aoshi felt a little piece of himself die inside.

Misao threw her pencil at the back of Sano's head as he turned to leave, but it fell short and rolled harmlessly away.

"You throw like a girl." Sano called over his shoulder as he left. "And you're still the loser!"

"Bastard." Misao muttered, clenching a fist.

Aoshi dropped his books onto the table, and sat down across from Misao with trepidation. He eyed her across the table uneasily, as if she were a convicted murderer he was visiting. But if that were the case, there would've been a Plexiglas window between them. Here, there was just a table. No phones, no armed cops at the door. Just Misao.

Misao flipped her book open to a random page, and leaned back in her chair, folding her arms under her breasts. "So tutor me, tutor man." she said with a smirk.

God, what he wouldn't give for a Plexiglas window.

Aoshi rolled his eyes and turned her book to the right page.

"Huh? We're only on chapter 8?" Misao asked, leaning forward to look at the page he turned to. "That bitch's been talking so much, I figured we'd be further along by now."

Aoshi threw his hands up exasperatedly. "Don't you know anything about the class?"

Misao thought for a moment. "I know I don't like it." she said with a shrug.

"Oh God." Aoshi mumbled. Why was he even wasting his time on this annoying girl? "Okay," he said, running a hand through his hair. "Let's review the basics."

"Okay." Misao shrugged, bored already.

"Who is the father of economy?"

Misao thought for a minute before snapping her finger and pointing excitedly at Aoshi. "George Washington!"

Oh. Dear. God.

"No." Aoshi sighed. "George Washington was one of the American founding fathers. Adam Smith was the father of economy."

"Oh well, I knew it was one of those American guys." Misao said indignantly.

"Adam Smith was Scottish."

"Oh well, I knew it was one of those Western guys."

* * *

2 hours. For 2 hours he'd sat there, and in 2 hours she hadn't gotten a single question right.

He felt stupider for having listened to her answers.

He felt like ripping his hair out.

But mostly, he felt like strangling her.

"Who rewrote the Communist Manifesto?"

Misao scrunched up her face in concentration. He thought she might have an aneurysm.

"Vladimir Putin!" she cried suddenly.

Aoshi slumped over the table and buried his head in his arms.

"Shinomori?" she asked tentatively.

He wearily raised his head. "Why?" he asked.

"What?" Misao asked, genuinely confused.

"Why?" He asked again. "You're not stupid, so why? Why can't you just get this?"

She shrugged. "I dunno, I guess I just don't give a shit."

That pushed him over the edge.

"I'm done." he said, slamming his book shut. "I'm not wasting another minute with you."

He stood up and scooped up his books. "Let me know when you 'give a shit.'" he said sarcastically. "I'm sure you'll be able to find me, God knows you've been following me around enough these past few months. Bet you've got my whole routine figured out, eh Misao? I'm out of here." and with that, he left.

And Misao, for once, was speechless.

* * *

A/N: I'm sorry, I've been in a weird mood lately. You all probably hate me for ending my chapter so unhappily. This is supposed to be a crazy happy story. I'll fix it, somehow, in the next chapter. I honestly wasn't expecting it to end like that, but it fits my mood, so I'm keeping it. For now.

I'd like to take a minute to say HOLY CRAP, I wasn't expecting to get this many reviews. (99 as of this chapter) I never even thought that I'd get half as many for the entire story. And most of them are good reviews too! You guys make my day, I love you all to death! I wish I could be one of those cool people who actually responds to every single review, but I don't have time (or patience) for that. But I do love you all. You are my motivation, my kick in the ass, to actually get this story written. Because knowing that there are people out there that like my insane twisted brand of humor makes it all worth while. You're like the awesomest reviewer people ever!

Love. peace and all that good crap.

Til next time. (whenever that is.)

**HAPPY FOOTBALL DAY!**

**The Super Bowl, the Un-Official American ****Holiday**


	8. Bandaid Covers the Bullet Hole

A/N: I meant to get this written over spring break. That was 2 weeks ago. What else should I be? All apologies. I'm a horrible, horrible authoress. Bad things happen to me all at once, and there's just way too much shit going on right now. I've been too depressed to feel like writing. I know that doesn't sound like much of an excuse, so you can just call me a lazy ass slacker.  
DISCLAIMER: STILL don't own it. Damn. If only I could guess the winning lotto numbers... 

_Stalking Shinomori_

_Chapter 8:_

_Bandaid Covers the Bullet Hole_

Misao stormed out of the class room angrily, crumpling a piece of paper into a tiny ball as she stomped down the hall.

"I give up!" she announced to no one in particular, tossing her paper ball in a random direction.

"Oro?" Kenshin said as the paper bounced off his head. "What's this?" he asked as Misao fumed past him.

"Pop quiz." Misaosaid as she continued on her way.

Kenshin fell into step behind her, carefully uncrumpling the paper ball. "ORO!" he exclaimed once he smothed it out enough to read.

Misao ignored him and stopped at the Coke machine. She fished around her pockets for some money, and came up empty handed. With a frustrated growl, she kicked the machine with all her might. CHUNK! went a can as it fell from the machine. She snatched it up, poped the top open and chugged it down.

"How'd you do so badly on your quiz, Miss Misao? I thought Aoshi was tutoring you?" Kenshin asked once Misao finished her drink.

Misao laughed bitterly, crushing the empty can in her hand. "Yeah, that worked out well." she said tossing it into the nearest trashcan.

"How so?" Kenshin asked, genuinely concerned.

"I pissed him off and he made me feel like an ass. I actually skipped the last couple of classes just so I wouldn't have to see him." she said sadly.

She seemed so crestfallen, Kenshin was taken aback. "How about we go find Miss Kaoru and get some lunch?" he offered in an attempt to cheer her up.

Misao gave a halfhearted smile. "You buyin?"

"Don't I always?" Kenshin sighed.

* * *

"Hey, these prices aren't so bad, Kenshin!" Misao chirped happily as she read over the menu. 

"Yeah, you should be able to afford this, Kenshin!" Kaoru agreed, nudging him in the side.

"Oro." Kenshin grumbled as he searched for the cheapest item on the menu.

"What are you getting, Misao?" asked Kaoru.

"I don't know, it all looks sooo good!" Misao sighed blissfully.

"I know! I can't decide either!" Kaoru gushed. "What should I get, Kenshin?"

"Something cheap." Kenshin muttered.

Kaoru smacked him on the back of the head. "Don't be a jerk Kenshin."

"Okay! I'm ready!" Misao said happily. "GARÇON!" she cried, snapping her fingers in the air.

"Can I help you, mademoiselle?" asked a more than slightly annoyed waiter.

"Yes." Misao said importantly. "I'm ready to order. I'll have the chicken cordon bleu."

Kaoru grinned. "And I'll have the filet mignon."

Kenshin sighed. "I'll have a plain salad. Plain, with nothing on it."

"Very well." The waiter said. "Your orders will be ready shortly."

Misao and Kaoru started giggling as soon as the waiter was gone. "I love foreign restaurants." Misao said, smiling happily.

"I love the French." Kaoru said.

Kenshin rolled his eyes.

* * *

"Is 40 minutes 'shortly'?" Kenshin asked. "We should get a discount! This is an outrage!" 

"Oh calm down, Kenshin." Kaoru said, annoyed.

"It _has_ been a while." Misao agreed. "Where's our food? I'm starving!" she whined, clutching her stomach dramatically.

"Look what you've done!" Kaoru said accusingly, jabbing Kenshin in the arm with her finger.

"I can feel my stomach eating itself!" Misao proclaimed loudly.

"Voila!" The waiter announced approaching the table with a cart of food. "Chicken cordon bleu and filet mignon for the mademoiselles." He said, placing their plates in front of them. "And a salad, plain, with nothing on it for monsieur." he added, plopping a bowl of chopped up vegetables in front of Kenshin.

"What's with the salad, Kenshin? You on a diet?" Misao asked, stuffing her mouth full of chicken.

"No. I just like salads." Kenshin said tersely, picking at his vegetables.

"Then why didn't you put anything on it?" Misao mumbled around her chicken.

"Because this is how I like them. This is how vegetables were meant to be eaten. Plain, with nothing on them." He said, stabbing a tomato and shoving it in his mouth. "Mmmm, plain tomato." he exclaimed unenthusiastically.

"Kenshin-" Kaoru started, looking upfrom her meal. "OH MY GOD! Misao, don't turn around!" she said, staring over Misao's head.

"What? What is it?" Misao asked, and naturally, she turned around.

Just in time to see Aoshi escorting a woman to the door.

"Shinomori!" Misao growled, squishing the roll she was holding into a pancake.

Something made Aoshi pause at the door, and he looked towards the back of the restaurant. There he saw Misao, twisted around in her seat so that she could glare at him, and squeezing the life out of what once could have been a dinner roll. It made the hairs on the back of his neck stand up.

"What is it, Aoshi?" the woman asked.

"Nothing." He said, gently pushing her out the door, and getting safely out of Misao's sight range.

"Shinomori." Misao said again, slamming her squashed dinner roll onto the table. "Damn him. Who was that slut anyway?" She demanded to know.

"Wasn't thatKomagata Yumi, Makoto Shishio's girlfriend?" Kenshin asked calmly, picking at his plain salad some more.

"Yeah, I think that was!" Kaoru said quickly. "It's not like she was Aoshi's date or anything. She would never leave Shishio, they're practically engaged. So there's no reason for you to get upset."

"Upset? Why would I be upset?" Misao asked somewhat hysterically. "Why would I care if Shinomori wants to date WHORES?"

"I think we should leave."Kenshin said, calling over a waiter to box up their half eaten meals.

"Good idea." Kaoru said under her breath.

"Damn that Shinomori and his stupid bitch!" Misao exclaimed, ripping her mangled roll into little tiny pieces.

* * *

A/N: If there's spelling or grammatical errors, blame it on notepad. It doesn't have cool spell checkers like word does. This computer doesn't have word, and I suck at spelling and grammar. And if the formatting is fucked up, blame the I fixed it like 6 times, but it still keeps messin up. And if this chapter is too short or half-assed, well that's my fault. I just wanted to get something up cause it's been a while. And I can't apologize enough for my slowness of updates. Thanks for stickin with me. I'm tryin to make it worth the while, but I'm fallin horribly horribly short. I feel like I'm cheatin you guys.Just knowI love you to death, and I'm trying. :( 

_I'm sick of following my dreams. I'm just going to ask them where they're going and hook up with them later._

_-Mitch Hedberg _

_RIP Mitch_

_You cheered me up on many a shitty day._

_RIP Kurt Cobain_

_It's been 11 years and I still miss the hell out of you._


	9. Jealousy is a Bitch

A/N: Sorry again for the long wait. I actually re-wrote this one, three times. I'm posting it now before I decide I don't like this one either. I don't, actually. But I'm sick of working on this damn chapter, so here it is. Like it or not. 

DISCLAIMER: I don't own it.

Stalking Shinomori

_By the muffin of procrastination_

Chapter 9:

Jealousy is a Bitch

"Here's your soup." Misao announced unceremoniously as she dropped the bowl on the table, splashing the tables' occupants with the burning hot soup.

"AHHH!" Shrieked the woman.

"HEY!" Shouted the man as Misao walked away.

"I'm sorry! I'm sorry!" Okon said apologized, rushing over to the table, offering them a towel and a fresh bowl of soup.

Misao sat at an empty table and stared off into space with her chin propped in her hand.

"Excuse me, waitress?" a man at the table next to hers asked. "We need some salt."

Misao continued staring at nothing, ignoring the man.

"EXCUSE ME?" he asked again.

"Can I help you?" Omasu asked the man, glaring at Misao. we get some salt?" The man informed her, staring at Misao who remained oblivious to her surroundings.

"Certainly!" Omasu said brightly, leaving to fetch the salt.

"MISAO!" Okon shouted storming over to her table, having seen the whole thing.

"Hmm?" Misao asked, snapping out of her trance.

"What is wrong with you?" Okon demanded to know.

"Nothing's wrong. What the hell do I care if that jackass Shinomori has a thing for whores?" Misao had shouted, angrily ripping off her apron and storming off to her room- where she wasn't heard from again for two days.

For Misao, this was unheard of. They would have thought she was dead, if it wasn't for the "GET LOST!" she shouted every time they knocked on her door.

"You've got to do something, Kaoru." Okon begged on the third day. "She's been like this for two days now. If you don't do something, she'll be in there for the rest of the week. She'll starve! She'll waste away and DIE!" she said hysterically, clinging to Kaoru.

"I'll see what I can do…" Kaoru said, patting Okon awkwardly on the back. She doubted it was as bad as Okon seemed to think it was, and truly doubted that Misao would waste away and die in her bedroom. Misao always kept a large stash of junk food hidden away in her drawers. Kaoru figured she could stay in her room for a month without going hungry.

"THANK YOU KAORU!" Okon cried, crushing her in a bear hug. "You're an angel! A real angel!"

"No…problem…." Kaoru gasped, trying to pry herself from Okon's death hug.

"Go save our little Misao!" Okon said, pushing her towards Misao's bedroom. "Go, go!"

"Alright, alright." Kaoru grumbled, creeping tentatively towards Misao's room. Kaoru stared at the shut door. "What did I get myself into?" she muttered.

Kaoru sighed softly and tapped on the door. Nothing happened. She glanced back down the hall towards Okon, who was standing with her hands clasped and a hopeful expression on her face. She knocked on the door. Again, nothing happened.

She glanced at Okon again, who nodded her head and mouthed "Go on!"

Kaoru knocked on the door, harder this time. And yet again, nothing happened. "Misao, I know you're in there!" she said.

"Bite me." Came the muffled reply.

Kaoru held her temper, and said in a sweet voice, "I just wanted to know if you wanted to go get margaritas."

The lock clicked, and the door swung open a little. Okon squeaked with delight, and clasped her hands even tighter.

"Margaritas?" Misao asked through the opening.

"Yeah, margaritas." Kaoru said. "But I guess you don't want any." She said, turning to leave.

"Wait a minute!" Misao shouted, throwing the door open. "You don't offer someone margaritas, and then say 'nevermind.'"

Kaoru glanced into Misao's room. The floor was littered with candy bar wrappers and empty chip bags. 'Wasting away my ass.' thought Kaoru. She grinned. "Fine. Get ready."

"Give me 15 minutes." Misao said, closing the door again.

"15 minutes! And then I'm leaving without you!" Kaoru threatened. She walked to the end of the hall, where Okon was waiting.

"Did it work?" Okon asked hopefully, watching Misao's closed door.

"Of course it did." Kaoru said nonchalantly. "When has Misao ever turned down a margarita?"

"I don't know…." Okon said doubtfully.

Exactly fifteen minutes later, the door flew open, and Misao bounded out as if nothing had ever happened. "MEXICAN BEVERAGES!" She shouted gleefully, grabbing Kaoru by the arm and dragging her to the door.

"See?" Kaoru called back to an overjoyed Okon. "She can't turn down a margarita!"

"Stop talking and start walking!" Misao commanded, giving Kaoru a shove out the door. "I want my margarita!"

Kaoru embarrassedly avoided looking at anyone as Misao noisily sucked up every last bit of margarita from the bottom of the glass.

"That," Misao said swirling her straw around the empty glass, "is the saddest sound in the world. I need another one."

"But you've had two alre-"

"Margarita!" Misao cut her off, flagging down a waiter.

"Can I help you ladies?" he asked.

"Yes you can!" Misao said happily. "I need another margarita. A mango one this time."

"It'll be ready shortly." The waiter said with a smile.

"Are you gonna finish that?" Misao asked, eyeing Kaoru's pina colada.

"Yes." Kaoru said, quickly finishing it off before Misao could.

"You don't have to be so greedy, Kaoru." Misao said, rolling her eyes.

"I'm greedy? You're the one who's had two margaritas."

"My margarita!" Misao squealed happily as she watched the waiter approach.

The waiter backed off quickly as she snatched it from his hand. "Thank you!" she called to his retreating back.

"Hey, Misao?" Kaoru asked.

"No, you can't have any." Misao said, scooting the glass further from Kaoru.

"I wasn't asking for any." Kaoru sighed. "I want to know what's up with this Shinomori guy-"

Misao's head snapped up. "Nothing's up." She said coldly.

"You've been acting pretty strange lately. You know, hiding in bushes and freaking out in restaurants and all. You locked yourself in your room for two days! That's not normal."

"Okay, so I'm insane. Lock me up then. My problem is solved."

Kaoru sighed. "You're not insane. Even though you've been acting crazy lately. Everybody's worried about you."

"So THIS is what the margaritas were for!" Misao said, glaring at the three empty margarita glasses accusingly.

Kaoru ignored the accusation. "So what is it about this guy that makes you act crazy? Is it love?"

"HELL NO!" Misao shouted.

Kaoru grinned evilly. "I think that Misao is in **looove**."

"AM NOT! Take that back, bitch!"

"There's nothing wrong with being in love. And Aoshi is a very good looking man."

"He is not! And I am definitely not in love with _him._"

"You're in lust then?" Kaoru asked.

"NO! Neither of those."

"Fine, so you tell me what it is." Kaoru said, throwing her hands up in defeat.

"Hatred." Misao said wringing the life out of a napkin. "Haven't you heard that old saying 'keep your friends close and your enemies' closer'?"

"What did he ever do to you to make himself your enemy?"

"Nothing." Misao muttered.

"This is about him being with that girl, isn't it!"

"Hell no! What should I care if he wants to date whores?" Misao said defensively.

"You **are** jealous!" Kaoru exclaimed excitedly.

"I am not! Now you're just pissing me off."

"Oh come on. You're upset that he ignores you, and goes out with sluts. Admit it." goaded Kaoru.

"There's nothing to admit. Other than the fact that I hate him. With all my soul." Misao said, staring at the table.

"Fine." Kaoru said, leaning back in her chair and folding her arms across her chest. "You hate him."

"Yes. With a passion. Glad we could talk." Misao said looking for a waiter. "Let's just get the bill."

"But." Kaoru said leaning over the table conspiratorially. "If you want to get his attention, there is someone we could talk to. Someone who could help you out."

"Who?" Misao asked, leaning in over the table also.

Kaoru grinned.

A/N: Don't hate me for the ending. I know it's rushed and horrible.  I am a horrible horrible author person. But! The story is a year old now! WEEEE! I can't believe I stuck with this for a year! I can't believe you all stuck with it for a year! WOO!


	10. Everything is in Transition

_A/N: Like a zombie, I am back from the dead! I can't believe it's been 2 years. :o It seriously doesn't seem that long. I don't know what I can say to apologize, so I won't even try to make any excuses. Life does crazy unexpected things sometimes. Hopefully, someone, somewhere out there remembers this. And hopefully, it won't be another 2 years between updates! (finger crossing action)_

Stalking Shinomori

_By the horrible muffin who makes you wait forever for yet another shitty chapter_

Chapter 10:

Everything is in Transition

Misao stared disbelievingly at the articles of clothing Megumi was holding.

"A dress? You guys want me to wear a dress." She asked.

Kaoru clasped her hands and nodded excitedly, grinning from ear to ear.

"Come on now…" Misao pleaded.

"Look, little miss tomboy." Megumi said rolling her eyes. "You're never going to catch any man's attention dressed like that." She said staring at Misao's clothes pointedly.

Misao glared at the older woman. "What's wrong with my clothes?"

Megumi smiled coldly. "Everything…." She began.

Kaoru snatched the armful of dresses from Megumi and thrust them at Misao. "Just try them on." She sighed, pushing Misao in the direction of the dressing rooms.

Misao glared defiantly at Megumi over her shoulder as she walked away.

Takani Megumi was in her last year of the universities' medical program, and over the years she'd developed quite a reputation. She was always poised and efficient, and came across most the time as a cold bitch. Not to mention the fact that she was always stylish and beautiful. Most males at the school where in love with her, so it came as no surprise that most the females hated her. She mostly kept to herself, so Misao had been shocked to find that she was Kaoru's 'secret weapon'. But at the same time, she was a little excited, if anybody knew how to catch a guy's attention it was Megumi.

With a reluctant sigh, she stripped down and changed into the first dress.

* * *

It had been a long day of going from store to store to try on various clothes, only to return to stores they'd already visited because the clothes had been better there. She didn't see the logic behind this, but she'd resolved to let them help her and so she resigned herself to being treated like a puppet.

She'd lost count of the number of times she'd changed clothes. After being critiqued by Megumi and catcalled by Kaoru numerous times, she had two complete outfits and a noticeably lighter bank account. (Playing the game wasn't cheap, Megumi had told her.)

"I'm tired." She yawned, stretching like a cat.

"You've had a big day." Megumi said, patting her on the head. "Let's get you to Cinnabon." She grabbed her by the elbow and steered her towards the food court.

"Oh, yay!" Misao said with as much sleepy excitement as she could muster.

* * *

Megumi helped pack the bags from the shopping expedition into Misao's car. Kaoru was helping an already half asleep Misao into the passenger's seat. She shut the door gently and Misao slumped against it, muttering something about cinnamon bun comas before she started snoring lightly.

"All done!" Megumi declared, slamming the trunk shut.

"Thanks for coming today." Kaoru said as she adjusted the seat and mirrors.

"My pleasure." Megumi smiled. "I love shopping, and helping people shop. But you know, you still gotta do something with her hair. And get some makeup on her." She said regarding the sleeping Misao.

"Oh, it's all been taken care of." Kaoru smiled devilishly.

Megumi raised an eyebrow. "Is it now?"

* * *

Misao dozed peacefully against the wall by the women's bathroom.

"Wake up!" Kaoru shouted, nudging her with her foot.

"Noooo. Lemme sleep s'more." Misao moaned, curling away from the foot.

"Fine. Guess I'll be eating your breakfast then." Karou said, sitting down next to her and opening the small bag she had.

"Breakfast?" Misao muttered, opening one tired eye.

Kaoru handed her a muffin and a cup of coffee. "Here, eat up. You're gonna need it."

Misao eyed her suspiciously. "Why? Why are we here so early?" She asked around a mouthful of muffin. "What's happening today?"

"GOOOOD MORNING LADIES!!" An overly cheerful voice cried out.

"Hey Kamatari!" Kaoru said, standing to greet the man.

Misao almost choked on her muffin as she watched him approach them carrying an oversized makeup bag. She liked the outspoken queen, but him and Kaoru were up to something no good, she could tell just by looking at them. "What's happening?" She asked again.

Kamatari just beamed down at her. "Did you bring the outfit?"

"It's right here." Kaoru grinned, holding up a bag.

"What's going on here!?!" Misao demanded.

"Well…" Kamatari said conspiratorially, crouching in front of her "A little bird told me you were trying to catch you a man."

This time, Misao really did choke on her muffin. "Kaoru!" She growled. "Did you get everyone in on this?"

"Come on," Kamatari said gently, offering her his arm. "Let's get you all prettied up!"

"Kaoru…." Misao growled again, as she let Kamatari lead her into the bathroom.

Kaoru just whistled an innocent tune as she followed after them.

_So I kind of completely forgot where I was going with this. I'm not entirely sure I ever really had any direction for this story; I think I was just making it up as I went along, so I continued doing that with this chapter. I think it turned out ok, for coming back from a 2 year hiatus…passable at the least. So we'll call this the 'transition chapter' and I'll figure out what the hell I'm doing here, and rest assured, I will finish this! Eventually! Have patience, and I'll try to get another chapter up before 2009 :D _


	11. Hooker Heels and Lipstick

_A/N: Is it really? Why yes, it is. Two chapters in one week. :O This is unprecedented. No, I haven't run into a bunch of free time. I'm suffering from a bad case of the insomnia. And I feel bad for abandoning this story for so long. So as a show of good faith that yes, I will indeed finish this bad boy, I'm cranking out as many chapters as I can…. That and as soon as I started working on this again, the plot bunnies began bouncing around like mad in my brain. They've been reproducing like crazy too. I sat in my cube today and came up with at least a dozen different things I could do with this. What'll happen? Who the hell knows. Not me, that's for sure. Stupid bunnies._

Stalking Shinomori

_By The Muffin of Sleeplessness_

Chapter 11:

Hooker Heels and Lipstick

Two hours and several struggles later, Misao was completely transformed.

"Magnifico!" Kamatari said, examining his work.

"Wow, just wow!" Kaoru gushed. "You're gorgeous!"

Misao blinked at herself in the mirror. "I dunno, I'm not so sure about this…" They had dressed her in a low cut blue sweater and a black mini skirt, and much to her feet's discomfort, knee length high heeled boots. Her long hair cascaded down her back in loose curls, and Kamatari had put on just enough makeup to make it noticeable that she was in fact wearing makeup. "I look like a hooker."

"You do not!" Kamatari gasped. "I did a wonderful job on you! You take that back now. Take it back!" He said, swatting at her arm.

"Ok! Ok! I'm sorry, I just don't look like me is what I meant to say."

"You're not supposed to 'just look like you.' You've been transformed, like a beautiful butterfly." He said, making a wide sweeping gesture with his hands. "Now you'll definitely get that man."

"What man?" Misao spluttered. "I'm not trying to get any man…."

"Stop lying to yourself!" Kamatari and Kaoru shouted at her in unison.

"Come on," Kaoru said opening the bathroom door, "Let's go show you to the others."

* * *

Kenshin, Megumi, and Sano had been waiting somewhat impatiently outside the women's bathroom for about half an hour.

Kaoru had demanded that Kenshin and Megumi meet them for Misao's 'unveiling'. Megumi had been genuinely interested to see what they would do with Misao, seeing as how she had played a part in her "transformation" and all.

Kenshin had shown up out of the love (and fear) he had for Kaoru.

And Sano had just kind of turned up, the way he always seemed to do whenever Megumi was around. He mostly came around to pick stupid fights with her, which is what they had been doing for the last half hour.

Kenshin let out a terrific sigh of relief as they had both decided they were no longer speaking to each other, ever.

'Ever' turned out to be too long to go without speaking for Sanosuke though, when he broke his vow of silence not even three minutes later. "God! They've been in there forever!" he outburst.

"You really have absolutely no concept of time, do you?" Megumi asked sarcastically.

"Woman!" He snapped, pointing towards the bathroom door, "Go in there and find out what's taking them so long."

Megumi rocked back like someone had punched her.

"Sano…" Kenshin started.

"Who the _hell_ do you think you are?" Megumi ground out. "Ordering me around like that. I'm not your bitch-"

"GUYS!" Kenshin interjected desperately.

"I have half a mind to take this pointy-toed boot here," she said, moving like she was going to pull her shoe off, "And SHOVE IT UP YOUR ASS!"

"**AHEM!"** Kaoru cleared her throat loudly and all three of them turned to look at her with dazed expressions at her sudden appearance. Once she was sure she had their attention, she gestured dramatically towards the bathroom door and cried "BEHOLD!"

"No! No! I don't want to go out there!" Misao was saying, struggling against Kamatari who was pushing her out the door.

Kenshin stared in baffled silence at the 'transformation' that had taken place.

Megumi let out a delighted little gasp, raising a fist to her mouth as tears of pride welled in her eyes. "She looks-"

"Like a hooker." Sano said, cutting her off.

"Thank you!" Misao cried triumphantly, pointing an arm at Sano. "See?" she said to Kaoru accusingly. "I told you I looked like a hooker!"

Kaoru sighed. "You don't look like a- SHINOMORI!" She interrupted herself suddenly, shoving Misao back into the bathroom and closing the door.

"Hey!" Misao cried indignantly as she was suddenly shoved into the bathroom. She caught her balance awkwardly in the heels. She started to open the bathroom door, but it slammed shut and wouldn't budge. "HEY!" She roared, pounding on it. "HEY! Let me out! LET ME OUT! OPEN THE **GODDAMN** DOOR!" She cried, tugging on the handle with all her might. "I'M KICKING YOUR ASS FOR THIS!"

* * *

Outside, everyone watched confusedly as Kaoru shoved Misao back into the bathroom, and then held the door closed. They all turned to see what she was staring so transfixed at, and saw the tall handsome man approaching.

He paused by the bathroom to stare questioningly at the group clustered around the door.

It felt like he had been standing there for an eternity before Kenshin nervously said "Heeey Shinomori, what's up?"

"What's going on?" Aoshi asked, nodding towards the door Kaoru was struggling to keep closed.

"N….Nothing's going on." Kaoru said, trying to sound natural but failing miserably.

Aoshi continued to stare at the door as more muffled pounding and profanity poured from it. "You sure?" he asked.

"Positive." Megumi and Kamatari chimed in, answering all too suddenly.

"Uh-huh." He said, looking between them and the door a couple more times. His eyes swept across the group one last time before he gave them a bored look and continued on his way.

"Thank god." Kaoru sighed, letting go of the door handle and shaking out her wrists.

"ACK!" Misao cried as she crashed to the bathroom floor. She struggled to get back to her feet, and Megumi went to help her get up.

"Ouch." Misao moaned, rubbing her back as she hobbled out of the bathroom. "You!" She growled at Kaoru, sticking a finger in her face.

"Dear god!" Kamatari cried, frantically trying to smooth Misao's hair back into place. "It's a disaster!"

Misao blinked dazedly as the man continued desperately trying to fluff and fix her hair, and Megumi moved in with a compact to touch up her make up.

* * *

Late! She was going to be late, yet again. This time by no fault of her own, it had taken a while longer than expected for them to fix her hair and makeup. And then they'd realized no one had taught her how to walk in high heels. So here she was, making her way ever so slowly down the halls to class, holding on to Sano's arm for dear life.

"Sorry." She said sheepishly.

"For what?"

"For this. You're gonna be late to class."

"Don't sweat it." He said. "I didn't feel like going to class today anyway."

"Then…why'd you come to school at all?"

He shrugged. "I didn't have anywhere else to go."

"You're a strange man, Sano." Misao said, shaking her head.

"Like you can talk." He snorted. "I mean, look at you."

"What about me?" Misao asked dangerously.

"Well, look at what you're going through, all for some random guy. I'm jus' sayin it's not exactly normal."

"I know." She sighed. "I'm a sick, twisted person."

"At least you're willing to do anything to get what you want." He said, trying to cheer her up. "No matter how extreme. Even if you have to stalk a guy, or dress up like hooker."

"Gee, thanks." Misao said, rolling her eyes.

"Hey, I'm just trying to say at least you have a shot."

"A long one." Misao muttered.

"A shots a shot." Sano smiled. "And here we are." He said, stopping in front of her class's door. "You're on your own from here, kid."

Misao stared at the door as if it were death itself. "Ok." She resolved before slowly letting go of the death-grip she had on Sano's arm.

She wobbled a little as she tried to balance on the heels by herself, and he got ready to catch her if she fell again. But this time she didn't. She looked over her shoulder to grin at him, he gave her a thumbs up.

"Thanks, Sano."

"No problem," He said, giving her a hug. "And good luck."

"Yeah, I'm gonna need it." She sighed as she slipped into the classroom. "Lots of it." She whispered to herself.

_There you have it, kids. I have so much more all ready to go in my head, but it's bed time for this slacker now. I've got the next chapter half formed in my mind, I'll try to get it up soon before I forget it all and whilst I still live somewhere that has the internets. I make no promises tho. It could take me another year to come up with the next chapter. Or, maybe I'll write it this weekend all half-drunk when I get back from that open bar wedding I'm going to. :D It's like a ghetto-ass version of Christmas, except nobody knows when it's going to get here, and instead of presents all you get is another shitty chapter. I'm really tired all of a sudden. Can you tell? Sweet dreams._

_P.S. The plot bunnies eat reviews instead of carrots for food. They need them. Please, think of the bunnies._


	12. How to Disappear Completely

_a/n: Happy Valentines Day, Chinese New Year, Lent, Superbowl, etc, _

_So it's that time of year again…time for my yearly update! haha! I still can't believe it's taken 4 years for me to get this far. Damn, they've flown by. I was 18 and in college when I started this, I've finished college, moved cross country, lived on everybody's couch, floor, and even in my car for while, just trying to survive. Now here I am, going on 23, and starting back to college for an entirely different major. 00 the paths life leads us down are beautifully confusing._

_Disclaimer: I __**still**__ don't own it. _

Stalking Shinomori

_By The Muffin of Awesome!_

Chapter 12:

Misao stepped through the door, Megumi's coaching running through her mind.

…Head up, back straight, chest out….

Feigning confidence, she took a deep breath, and a step.

Good, good! It was working! She was walking in the death shoes!

She smiled as she felt every eye in the class room on her. "Who is that?" she could practically hear them thinking.

This would work, for sure! Who could resist her now? Not even Shinomori…

Her smile faltered, as did her balance.

Shit. She had lost her concentration.

The realization hit her a spilt second before she hit the floor.

"OUCH!!" She cried, as horrified, the entire class stared at her splayed out on the floor.

The guys sitting nearby all stood to help her up.

But it was from behind her that the slightly annoyed, slightly bemused voice said "Come on…"

And like a glorious lifeline, the hand snaked into her line of tear blurred vision.

She grasped it like diver lost at sea, and it hoisted her to her feet.

There is no dignified way to stand after a spill wearing high heeled boots, a mini skirt, and a low cut sweater. Boobs, ass, and hair went everywhere in the standing process.

Fighting for a little dignity, she pushed her hair back into place, gripped her teeth, and took another step.

Her foot slid out from under her and she was falling again. She braced herself for the impact to her poor bruised backside.

The impact that never came…

She opened her eyes and stared up and the man who had caught her, rescuing her for the second time in four minutes.

It was Shinomori, and all the color drained from her tomato-red face as horror replaced embarrassment. "Thanks." She choked out.

"Don't mention it." He said, propping her back on her feet. "Let's try this again, shall we?" he asked with a smirk, offering her his hand again.

She reluctantly took it, and they carefully made their way back to her seat. It was a long, awkward walk, as she hadn't even made it a quarter of the way across the room.

Once they made it, he helped her into her chair as she whimpered ow's for her poor battered butt, and then placed all her belongings carefully in front of her. She hadn't even realized he'd gathered them. She had refused to look at him during the entire ordeal, but now she smiled weakly at him and whispered "Thanks." again. It was the only thing she could force out. He just nodded in response, and then took his own seat.

The professor cleared her throat, recapturing the attention of the class who had stared on in shock as soon as they had realized that it was Misao in that mini skirt and makeup.

"For those of you coming in late," she said, pointing to the overhead projection screen, "We have a team assignment due at the end of the semester…."

Misao drowned her out, burying her face in her book. 'What a morning!' She thought bitterly. 'Impress him! They said. Lot of good this has all done…'

"Why don't you two just go ahead and partner up?" The professor said, sliding a sheet of paper under Misao's arm, interrupting her thoughts.

Misao's head shot up, and she glanced over at Shinomori. He looked just as mortified. "But!" she cried.

"I think everyone has already formed teams." the professor said with a note of finality, handing Shinomori an identical paper.

Misao stopped listening after that. She felt she would be sick.

She had no idea how much time had passed when Shinomori said "So, what do you want to do?"

"What?!" Misao asked stupidly, looking over at him.

"For the project." He said, looking at her coldly. "You spaced out again, didn't you?"

Misao just nodded, her insides turning to ice.

"Great." Aoshi said sarcastically, throwing his hands up. "Well, I don't have time to waste on this right now, so when do you want to meet up?"

"I work!" Misao shouted.

"….Good to know….When aren't you working?" he sighed.

"T..Tonight." Misao stuttered after a long pause. "At 7..ish." She practically whispered.

"At 7ish?" Aoshi deadpanned. "7ish it is."

"I work at the Aioya…."

"Yea, I vaguely remember that." He interjected coolly. "I'll meet you there."

Misao flushed. "Ok."

"Ok." Aoshi said, standing up. "You need some help, or can you make it out of here on your own?"

"I need some help, please?" Misao admitted quietly.

"Come on." Aoshi said pulling her out of her seat gently, and guiding her to the door.

They were slowly making their way through the hallway when Sano spotted them. "I'll take that." He said, holding his arm out for Aoshi to hand her off to him.

"She's all yours." Aoshi said. "See you at 7ish." He added before he disappeared into the crowd headed for the parking lots.

"At 7ish? You got a hot date tonight?" Sano teased, nudging her.

"No! I have to do a project…with Aoshi!" she howled, burying her face in Sano's sleeve. "Dear God, what have I gotten myself into!" she cried.

Sano just laughed. "Sounds like it's all working out for you!"

"No!!" Misao raged, "It's not working out at all! This is the worst possible thing that could happen!!"

"I will never understand women." Sano said sadly, shaking his head.

------------------

Misao sat in the café, eating her Double Fudge Sundae Madness Sundae, sadly recounting her morning's adventure to the table of her friends/co-conspirators.

They all looked on with varying degrees of sympathy and amusement.

"Well, well, this is the saddest I've ever seen you holding a spoon." Megumi crowed, arriving late. "What went wrong?" she asked with genuine concern.

"Everything." Misao said dramatically, shoveling more sundae into her mouth.

Megumi rolled her eyes as she sat down next to Kaoru.

"No, seriously, it was everything." Kaoru whispered sadly.

"LOOK AT YOU!" Kamatari cried, referring to Misao's disheveled appearance. He showed up last, as always. "Did he _ravish_ you?" He asked, taking the seat next to Megumi.

"In class? Use your brains!" Megumi demanded, smacking him upside the head.

"Ouch!" Kamatari whined. "It could've happened afterwards…"

"Would she look so sad if that was the case?" Megumi pointed out. "Spill it." She said, turning her attention to Misao.

Misao sighed as pushed away the remnants of her sundae. "I'm going to need another one."

Kenshin sighed quietly as he fished out his wallet and flagged down a waitress.

----------------------

The skirts the girls wore at the Aoiya got shorter every time he visited, Aoshi noted dryly.

"Can I help you?" a bubbly woman asked as he entered the dining room.

"I'm just waiting for Misao."

"OH!" She giving him an appraising look. "We'll put you at that table right over there," she said, pointing to a table in the corner, "And I'll let her know you're here. Would you like anything? It's on the house."

"Just some tea, please."

"I'll send it right over." She said, leaving him to wait at the table.

Sure enough, it wasn't even five minutes later when Misao emerged from the kitchen with a pot of tea and a cup.

"Here's your tea." She said, placing the cup on his table. She looked terrified.

"It's 7ish." Aoshi smirked as she poured him some tea. It was 6:50.

Misao just nodded, setting the pot on the table too. "I'll be out in a minute, just let me change out of _this_." She said, gesturing to the short skirted maid-style dress she was wearing, making a face.

"Sure." Aoshi said, picking up his cup. He watched as she hurried away, the bottom of her ass peaking out of the skirt as she rushed. He smiled to himself as he noticed it was covered in brightly colored sad face band-aids.

She really was something else, that Misao.

She re-emerged a few minutes later wearing old jeans with holes in the knees, an oversized sweatshirt, and ridiculously cute bunny slippers. She dropped her books loudly on the table.

"So…" She said, sitting across from him and folding her arms on the table in front of her.

"So?" he said, quirking an eyebrow at her intent expression.

"So." she said, leaning into the table, "I sure as hell hope to God you know what's going on here, Aoshi. Because I sure don't."

Aoshi slammed his forehead down onto the table in exasperation.

_A/N: And that concludes this years installment of Stalking Shinomori!! What will happen? Will it ever end? Look for the answers to these questions and more before 2012 A.D. :P Seriously, I'll try to update as soon as inspiration and time allow. Hopefully, I'll be more consistent than I have been. Don't forget about me…please?! First 10 reviewers get brownies!!_


	13. Breaking and Entering

_A/N: Rejoice, as it has only taken me 3 months to bring you this update, as opposed to 3 years :D_

_Disclaimer: Do not own._

Stalking Shinomori

Chapter 13:

Breaking and Entering

Misao checked the number written on the slip of paper against the big brass numbers tacked to the apartment door. Seeing they matched, she drew in a deep breath, and braced herself as she knocked politely on the door.

She waited patiently for what felt like minutes, but actually was about 45 seconds. The smile slipped from her face. She huffed impatiently as she knocked again, pounding the door this time. She forced a smile into place as she resumed the waiting.

A few more eternal seconds slowly ticked by. 'What the hell was taking him so long?' she wondered. Did it take this long to answer a door? Was she here at the wrong time? Did she show up on the wrong day?! Panicking, she checked her phone. No, the time and date were correct. Then where was he? Had he forgotten? Was he not home?

This last thought worked her into a fury. How dare he accuse her of being irresponsible and _harass_ her to be sure to show up at this certain time on this particular date only to flake himself. "What a jackass!" She growled, pounding on the door again. She paused for a minute and jiggled the doorknob, checking the lock. To her surprise, it turned.

Without thinking twice she pushed the door open. "KNOCK KNOCK, AOSHI!" She shouted irritably, sticking her head into his apartment and looking around.

Suddenly he stepped around a corner and into her line of sight, wearing nothing but a towel around his waist. With another towel, he was drying his hair. Misao gasped, startling him out of his hair drying.

"MISAO!" he cried, and she quickly slammed the door. "What are you doing here?!"

She opened the door just a crack, and shoved her mouth to it. "I'M SORRY! I'm here for the project!" A few papers slid through the crack below the mouth, waving frantically. "I KNOCKED! I knocked, but you didn't answer. So I thought you must not be home…so I checked the lock and the door opened…and so…and so…"

"And so you let yourself in?!" Aoshi fumed.

"Mmhmm." The mouth whimpered.

"What is the _**matter**_ with you, Misao? Do you just not think?" he demanded angrily.

There was a long pause where he could **feel** the electric anger bristling off her from through the heavy door. But then, unexpectedly, the mouth heaved a sigh of defeat. "No, I don't." It said morosely. "I'm sorry. I'll go."

With that, the papers disappeared from the crack, only to come sliding under the door a second later, stopping just short of his feet. "Those are for the project." She called, as she shut the door.

He ran a hand down his face. He couldn't believe her most of the time. With a sigh, he scooped up the papers and opened the door. "Wait!" He called after her.

She turned and looked dejectedly at him, like a scolded puppy.

"We only have a couple weeks left to do this thing, so we might as well do it now." He resigned.

Without saying a word, she just nodded and followed him back into his apartment.

"Give me two minutes." He said as she slipped her shoes off by the door.

Again she just nodded morosely. Aoshi rolled his eyes, and disappeared into his bedroom, making sure to lock the door behind him.

Not even two minutes later, he re-emerged, dressed in jeans and still pulling a black

t-shirt over his head. Misao was perched awkwardly on the edge of his couch, sitting uncomfortably at attention. From this vantage point she got a nice glimpse of his bare chest, one not obstructed by doors and guilt. She inwardly drooled a little. It was every bit what she had imagined and then some.

He finished getting his shirt on, and met her vacant stare. He stared at her with a mix of bewilderment and annoyance for a moment as he tried to decipher her look. He didn't know what was supposed to do with her. He knew what he _wanted_ to do with her – strangle her- but he couldn't even bring himself to do that. "Would you like some coffee?" he found himself offering.

She shook her head a little, bringing herself out of her trance. "Yes, please."

He nodded and headed toward the kitchen. "How do you take your coffee?"

"I like my sugar with coffee and cream." She sang absentmindedly as she looked around his apartment, studying everything in it. He didn't seem to have much, and nothing seemed out of the ordinary. Everything was neat and tidy, almost obsessively so. She thought it fit him.

She was so lost in her thoughts that she didn't even notice when he set a cup of coffee (on a coaster) on the table in front of her. "Thank you." She took a test-sip, and smiled to herself. He had gotten it perfect.

"No problem." He said, sitting down as far from her as he possibly could on his tiny couch.

"So. We're writing an analysis on the economy of Belgium…" he began, reminding her of what exactly it was they were doing. He found he had to do that a lot, as she had the attention span of a flea.

"Like the waffles!" she interjected happily, taking another drink of her coffee flavored sugar.

He took a deep breath. "Yes, like the waffles." He conceded.

That had been her idea, and her one major contribution to the project thus far. He had asked her to pick the country. She had chosen Belgium, because she loved their waffles.

He took a long drink of his coffee. "You were supposed to go research their major industries and…" he reminded her, starting to list the things she was supposed to have looked into.

"I know." She said proudly, picking her papers up from the coffee table and flapping them at him. "It's all right here."

"Ok." He said tersely. "So what did you find?"

"Surprisingly," Misao said, sounding scandalized, "waffles are NOT Belgium's major industry…."

With a vacant, yet defeated glaze in his eyes, Aoshi slumped back into the sofa. 'But…' he admitted to himself, 'it was a start.'

_A/N: It's coming to a close. Finally. 2 more chapters, I think. I still don't know how I'm going to end this thing. How do you end an awesome mess like this? I don't know, but I want to finish this up so I can move on to bigger and better (and more plotful) things. Unless it takes me another 4 years to write these last few chapters. Then I think I'll give up on fanfics forever after that._

_Many thanks again for your patience with me. I doubt any of my original readers are still reading this, but I've been a horrible slacker this entire time._

_Hopefully, it all pays off in the end. _


End file.
